Wow.. so many thoughts running through my head right now. The only thing I can really do is try to give you some fragments of whats happening with me.
First I would suggest checking out:
Its our Provo Chapter of the Led Poets Society. Let us know what you think of our current project and if you would like to contribute any kind of sketch work to LPS. Seriously! If you do some form of art, and it involves led, then let me know and I'll give you posting permission.
Anyway... So I just think that you need to be honest some times and just let stuff out. I'd like to say I was good at this (like some of my friends) but I'm just not that guy. Normally I express through my art, but when I'm under this much stress I don't have much sketching capability. That means, yes you guessed it, you get another post of me rambling about stuff that I think I know about but really have no authority to talk about.
Smart honest people are difficult to come by. Simple people tend to be very honest. They don't really know any other way than to just express themselves as themselves. Thats what tends to make simple people very funny or very weird or occasionally both.
People that are smart. People that analyze, assess, create opinions, make educated judgments and choice, think for themselves, explore the world, apply themselves, seek to grow, seek to change the world around them, and just people that are looking to get their full potential. Its hard to find these kind of people and have them be honest. They may not lie to you vocally.. but their actions are often masks. They know their weaknesses and so they hide them. They know what society wants to see and so they become that. Rarely do these people find out who THEY are and what THEY really want to be.
Even those appear to be bluntly honest about everything in their lives are often not that honest. Many of these types are associated with a group that tends to be counter cultural and rebellious to any kind of authority. As much as this may appear to be a decision based on what their own personal desires are, they usually behave in this manner to cover up for some other tendency. Whether its an insecurity about who they can trust, the desire to choose is so strong that they disagree with common beliefs etc just to say they chose it themselves, or just a desire to stand out.
So who are the honest? No one. At least not for long. Children are honest, but only until they start growing up. Then with each passing year they become more jaded by the world and more indoctrinated with what everyone around them thinks. Some very old people are. The only problem is that if you've reached that point in your life you're most likely going to die soon.
That only leaves the third group, the crazy. I don't mean insane, but I do mean eccentric. You know who I'm talking about. The people you meet everyday that are just a touch different. Not messed up in the head, their personality just stands out to you because you question why they do the things they do. It appears that they are floating from one thing to another, not always because of some influence, but mostly just because they want to. It's the people that tell you things straight because they're not worried about what you think. The reason they're not worried is because they don't mean anything by it. If I tell you that you are unhealthily over weight its not because I want to upset you, it's because I'm concerned for your health. You see... there's a difference between being honest and being blunt. Honest people don't want to hurt others, blunt people do. It's very similar to what Aristotle said about being a friend. You can only be a real friend if you are virtuous (i.e. you love not obsess or hate, you courageous not cowardly or overbearing, you are honest not lier but not blunt).
Anyway... Thats about how I see it... I realize thats sort of an abrupt ending, but thats how I feel. I feel like I have a few really good and honest friends. Oddly enough most of them are girls, but a few are boys. The main point is that these friends are hard to come by, so if you find them, hold on to them.