Friday, June 6, 2008

Personals: Man Looking For Love


I'm a self consumed shovanist looking for that special someone. I'm a hopeless romantic without a heart. I'm the perfect boyfriend that will destroy your life. I'm shallow, lazy, and mean. I'm a martyr and a masochist. I hardly have a spine. Have psychotic and slightly neurotic; occasionally I'm even schizophrenic. I don't understand life or any of it's mysteries. I'd hardly consider my self a deep thinker (or even a thinker at all). I tend to have negative views about myself, the world, and people around me.

I'm looking for a bad influence. Someone that is clingy, naggy, and a jerk to my friends. She needs to be okay with my other girlfriends and totally committed to me only. She needs to have a tiny figure and stunning eyes. She needs to know when to laugh and when to shut up. She needs to be perfect because I'm sure as heck not. She needs to be able (and willing) to completely carry the relationship on her own. She also needs to be fit and fashionable (seeing how if she doesn't I will see her as fat and ugly).

If this seems like the relationship for you. Give me a call. And no, I'm not giving you my number. I want to see how hard you're willing to work for this relationship before it gets started.

1 comment:

kwistin said...

Joseph, I sure hope you were writing that for someone else...cuz that's not you. Besides. You generally wear clothes.